Dead pan? Like a flan in a cupboard?

I am more than aware that there has been a disconcerting silence here, I’m sure you have missed my witticisms greatly and thusly I apologise for my absence. I have been visiting family in Athens (that’s the capital of Greece, its not in Rome as a man in Paul’s Golden Chippy thought). I had a splendid time there catching up with family and brushing up on my Greek (language not George) the time spent was emotionally charged we laughed, cried and then ate. We ate a lot; you know when you’re so full that it’s a challenge to breathe quietly? When you feel annoyed that someone dare speak to you as the pain of responding is arduous? Well I reached the next phase and remained there until Sunday when I arrived back in England. My cousin and I sat down together and worked out our family tree from my Grandparents to us. In my family (Greek side only) there are 29 grandchildren (Inc me) and 35 great grandchildren. Clearly nowt on the telly then.

It messed with my mind that in one day I can go from wandering around the ancient acropolis of the Parthenon to then wandering around the foggy streets of North Shields. How foggy has it been though seriously! I’ve been taking the ferry to and from work and the journey home last night was like that end scene in the film children of men (not a rom com) I’ve enjoyed my ferry journeys actually, it’s a bit of a romantic route to work, better than the tunnel that’s for sure. My experiences with public transport over the past weeks haven’t all be so fairytale-esq however. I was trying to find my way to a carer’s home yesterday and stopped the bus four times asking where the Jeff we were. The bus driver, although nice enough, refused to take me directly to the address. I told him he was selfish and told the rest of the passengers on the bus that they were all useless for not knowing where I had to be. I’m a very polite person.

I performed at Richard Batt’s gig in Redcar last night (gig 21). Red car is such a pretty place (tongue firmly in cheek) upon arrival we witnessed a group of hoody donning teenagers force a girl in to a wheelie bin, I felt like making a citizens arrest but was deterred by the rest of our group. I travelled down with Stu (chauffer), Graham Oakes, Jack Gardener and the relentlessly chatty George Zach. The audience was lacking in diversity, it was primarily made up of massive men. Upon stepping onstage I received a bark of heckles from a collective of said massive men, I’m not sure exactly what they said; I politely declined purchasing a gazette and carried on with my set. I fairly sure it was something about my fine ass. I tried out some new material which went down well, chop chop here and there and it’ll be gold. Graham opened the night with little to no warm up from the MC and Jack scared the life out of the room with wor Betty Blue eyes, he makes me screech laughing (half from fear). George appeared to do well but half way through his act I went to the loo for a boblette so can’t comment on the full set.

I’ve been reading this book ‘Getting the Joke’ it’s not a self help or anything its more ‘Stand-up comedy studies’. The book contains discussions around different styles of delivery including the dead pan delivery. It argues that if you are naturally dead pan in your manner then that approach will work for you on stage, if however you are not and its forced, it will prove to be transparent, monotone and perhaps boring. Jack Dee is a good example of a successful dead pan act. He’s demeanour offstage mirrors his delivery and is punctuated with facial expressions and ‘instant characters’. After replaying footage from last nights gig, I realised I sounded dead pan. This has been an entirely subconscious transition and I’m not sure how I feel about it. My natural way of conversing, ranges up and down the scale followed by a loud laugh at whatever I’ve just found amusing, wild gestures and impressions. On stage though I appeared uncharacteristically straight faced and nonchalant, perhaps my material is over rehearsed and thus lacking lustre? Maybe I’m trying to hard to get away from my original character?

This being yourself malarkey is harder than it sounds.