Pick your battles

Transport update: I'm not going anywhere today.

Dog Update: Poppi is asleep next to me on the sofa and has asked for me not to discuss her personal issues via my blog.

Today I'm thinking about arguments. Not arguments with your husband/partner but rather with random people. I have had quite an argumentative disposition of recent days, I'm not sure what's wrong with me (woman) Here are some arguments/confrontations I have experienced recently:

1. Confronted two teenage boys for attempting to slot a pringle tube in a bush.

"well that's littering isn't it! stick that in the bin!" (bin was right next to them and they did what I said with apologetic slumped shoulders) 

WIN

2. Confronted intoxicated Chav on the metro for smoking.

This was not a good idea as the Chav was a bit intimidating and he did not put said cigarette out, he did however threaten me with violence. 

FAIL

3. I have been harassed by a substantial number of charity beggars recently esp Christian Aid workers, I have engaged in conversation with said beggars and gradually lost my patience. Here are some responses I have utilised:

"stop following me"

"go away"

"I have no eyes" (lee Kyle's suggestion, charity person was very confused)

"I know nothing about wrestling" (said to a WWF person)

"I don't like you people"

"I have no bank"

"I don't believe in helping people"

I don't feel that this is a WIN as I'm still being harassed.

4. Once two old ladies said my laugh was too loud (really?) I was at the Tyneside Cinema watching 'all about Eve' with my sister and mamma. I laughed at a few parts of the movie which I personally found amusing. I really enjoyed the film and had a lovely day. The old ladies did not enjoy my laughter, this is more or less how the 'conversation' (or very loud argument) went:

Old wench "you are too loud"

me: "if you can't bare an audience, rent the DVD and stay at home"

(shocked but trying to remain respectful)

Old bat: "this film is not your type of film"

Me: "that's not really for you to say is it?"

(feeling a bit miffed and confused about why this conversation is happening)

Old witch:"you laughed at the wrong parts"

Me: "humour is subjective, I laughed at what I thought was funny"

(how dare she say that to me, these woman are horrible)

Old crone: "You're behaviour is inappropriate" 

Me: "I find this public display quite 'inappropriate' actually"

(breathing deeply through nose, calm Nicola calm.)

Old hag: "you shouldn't come here, we come on a sunday night you shouldn't"

Me: "I'm actually finished talking to you now, please go away and stop talking to me. I'm not interested in you, you're very annoying. Go."

(blood starting to boil, Nicola these women are elderly, there fore you can't shout at them, remain semi respectful)

Old wifey: "you have no idea how to conduct yourself in public"

(I'm very angry now)

Me: "OH YEAH? WELL YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PUT MAKE UP ON!"

(blue eye shadow and red lipstick on hairy lip and teeth)

Old tart: "oh that's just rude!"

Me: "YOU ARE A STUPID PERSON! GO ON! KEEP ON WALKING! GET LOST! GO WATCH A DVD YOU IDIOTS!"

(full on riot mode- WHERE IS MY SWORD!?)

WIN.

Moral of the story: pick your arguments with children and old idiots, not violent chavs.