The point.

Transport update: I slept in horrifically late this morning, I was due to start work at 9am and I got up at 9:11am. So I when Stu got home I hopped in the car, so no cruise today.

Random thought of the day: I remember once when I was at school during a French lesson we were learning some new adjectives. We did this by looking at photographs of celebrities and describing them to each other. Some of the adjectives were words like:

Big                  Grosse

Small              Petit

Ugly                 Moche

Pretty              Jolie

I was given a photograph of Dawn French, I described her saying:

“Elle est grosse et moche”  

Now my teacher corrected me and said that although Dawn French is fat she is not ugly because she has a nice face. I understand where she was coming from as not all fat people are ugly BUT beauty is a matter of opinion, so she was dictating to me what I could and could not say/think, essentially taking away my freedom of speech! I will not live in your totalitarian regime Miss Haswell! Fight the fine fight!

Stranger interaction: Last night I had the ‘vague’ gig in Sunderland. I asked for directions to Bar1. The man I asked was obliging, he described the venue as “nice but no one goes there” Brilliant. He then felt the need to tell me a joke he had made up:

“I was holding my dog the other day and my aunty gave him a chew, I said ‘what’s a dog’s favourite day of the week? TUESDAY! GET IT? Chews-day!” He exclaimed.

“Did you say that joke on a Tuesday?” I enquired

“Nor it was a Wednesday, but I thought of it on Tuesday and was telling it on Wednesday” He explained

“You sound like Craig David” I stated

“Do I flippin’ look like Craig David like?” He questioned.

He had an accent.

Last night was gig number 25. It was at bar1 and it had everything wrong with it. Poor lighting, no advertisement, lack of mc, no arranged seats, not enough acts, the acts that were there were doing too long of a set each, wrong shaped room, bar open for general business, poor structure, accompanied by slightly depressing indie acoustic guitar sets.

There was an audience of about 10 people 15 if you include our cluster of comedians. There were three girls on the left of the room and 7 boys on the right; it was a bit of school disco set up. Essentially I should have hated the gig and resented being there, Lee Kyle was a right spoilt brat and (after ten minutes of his twenty minute set) he did a diva strut off stage and told them all to shove it. I on the other hand did a bit of extra material and deliberately out stayed my welcome; I relished the awkwardness of the situation in a perverse almost masochistic manner. There were a couple of times when I pointed out that I had just told them a joke then left a silence. I don’t feel that I have to justify myself here (but I will) I do have faith in the material I used and I know that under the right circumstances it gets a great response. I laughed on stage a number of times mainly at the absurdity of the event.

After I finished my set the 7 boys left. I’m sure they’ll be back again (sarcasm) I had clearly made them uncomfortable, perhaps this was down to me implying they were a bit gay for each other, I did however resist commenting on how blummin massive the mole was on one of their faces! Sheesh kebab I swear it had legs.

After the gig, Jo Law and Nat Wicks compared their weird feet. Nat has really long toes and Joe has little to no toes or ‘trotters’ as Lee Kyle described them. We wandered the streets of Sunderland in pursuit of pizza, en route Jo stole the ‘HIV’ note out of my pocket (used for a joke not like a certificate or something). Nat found a needle out side of the point (no pun intended…also ‘The Point’ is a bar in Sunderland, incidentally the only point TO Sunderland-nasty)

So Both Nat and Jo had aids in their hands.

It was a really silly night and I’m glad I went I was feeling a bit cack through the day, so the frivolity cheered me up.

NB. The needle which Nat Wicks found was actually an insulin needle not an aids needle.